Aug 16

why….

i am mad.
i am angry.
i want to break something.
i want to cus.
i want to tell everyone that i am a mom even though i’m not holding my baby.
i want to scream.
i can’t do this.
i do not want to wake up tomorrow just to be reminded that my baby girl died one month ago.
i should not have to spread her ashes somewhere.
i am tired of being strong.
when i see a newborn my heart aches for mine.
i am sick of books about grief.
i am tired of going to sleep with my eyes burning every night.
good grief.
i miss my baby girl.
i want to hold her.
i want to hear her cry.
i wish people would just say her name in front of me.
i am so sick of feeling like something is missing.
because it is.