I was on a short jog this morning with my little buddy, and it began to rain. It was a slow sprinkle, so instead of my usual walk to cool down, I sprinted back to our new little rental house. As I got to the front porch stairs, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I debated if I should get my iPhone or my baby out of the rain first! Don’t start judging yet, I chose them both! I grabbed him and set him on the porch, and as a rush of regret for choosing to run with such a dreary forecast ran over me, I saw him smile and start reaching for the rain.
Boys love puddles.
We sat out on the porch for a while and just watched the rain. We sang and danced a little, and my heart was thankful that my baby boy decided to skip his morning nap so we could have a special morning together.
We came inside, and I remembered the clothes in the laundry that needed to be switched. Our house has a disconnected washer/dryer, so you have to go out of the back door onto the porch to get to them. I sometimes leave the back door open so W can watch me switch the laundry, and as I did that today, I turned around and he was gone!
I heard a splash, splash, splash…
And I found that cute little blonde head playing in the puddles on the back porch. The rain had stopped, so I just took off his clothes, kicked of my shoes, and sat on the wet ground and soaked it up for the second time.
You see, when I found out that he was a boy, I was pretty sad. Not that I think that we can “try for” a gender or anything like that, but my heart was prepared for a baby girl, and I lost her, so it was confusing for my heart to try to re-prepare for a baby boy. I’m pretty girly, so I would often say to friends, “I just don’t know if I will be a good boy mom.”
I can say after one year, I surely do love being a momma to that little boy.
I miss tea parties, tutus, and finger nail painting parties, and they still make me a little sick to my stomach, but I know the Lord knew exactly what my weary heart needed.
If you’re God’s child, the gospel isn’t an aspect of your life, it is your life; it is the window through which you look at everything.
Paul David Tripp
My big sister asked me today if I had written since May, and I slowly typed back a “no” to her. My hands have missed typing. I miss sharing our story. I miss sharing about how Jesus uses Mary Anna to still alter how we look at everything.
Our life has been a bit crazy lately. We have had things happen that I never thought would be a part of our story, but this is our messy life, and we’re doing it! So here’s to writing more, playing in puddles more, and settling into life in our new little home as a family of 4 with our big sister in heaven.
We love the doxology at our house. And as I type this conclusion to this blog that I felt the urge to write, but didn’t even know where to begin, I keep hearing those words in my head:
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.