The morning after Mary Anna passed, we had another hard hurdle to jump. We had to make arrangements. Dan was certain that he wanted to cremate her, but I just could not decide. We started thinking about burial sites, and since we do not know where our forever home will be and a few other factors, we decided to have a Celebration Service and to have her cremated.
The Lord went before us as He had for every step. Dan called a local funeral home in Auburn to tell him our plans. When Dan told the owner what had happened and what we wanted, the guy said, “there is no charge… I am not out to make money off of children. I have children of my own and I am so sorry”. Dan hung up the phone and with tears rolling down his face he told me what the guy said. What a blessing. Little did he know that Dan is still in school and money is very tight, and we had no way to prepare for this financially. We are forever grateful for each person that has blessed us along the way.
We also decided that after her service that we wanted to bring her ashes to the beach to scatter. The beach is our happy place. In May, we came down for a week for our family vacation. While D and I were sitting by the water on Mothers Day, I felt Mary Anna kick for the first time. It just seemed right to stand at the shore and get some earthly closure by spreading her little ashes there. This weekend we did that. Yesterday was one month from when she went to heaven, so at sunset we finally did it. Again, it was closure yes, but it just all felt so wrong to be standing and opening a bag containing our baby girl.
Lord, give us strength where we have none.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
Lamentations 3: 22-24
We will wait for you Lord, and we will Keep Walking.