Dec 24

Christmas Eve

My dearest baby girl,

I have taken a little time away to spend with you daddy and enjoy life away from the Internet. Your daddy and I went on a road trip, and we talked about you a lot. We have tried to enjoy Christmas, because as you already see in completion, it is about Jesus. He is the reason for the season, and we cling to the Hope in Him always. Although we have hope and peace, we miss you so much. This morning we cried together, because your Christmas pajamas are still in your drawer, and our hearts are so sad. Your stocking is hung, but you will never see it or get to open a stocking with us, and that breaks our hearts. There are so many special things that we would have done with you at Christmas time. EVERY year our home will be missing a very special girl, and we will never celebrate a day of life without missing you, sweet angel. I wanted to make cookies this year with you in a sling with me, and I wanted to wrap presents and tell you what all you had to look forward to. Your daddy really wanted to show you all of his favorite Christmas movies, and probably would have snuck a little taste of hot chocolate to you way too early! Your BeBe and Doc would have probably gotten you way too many presents even though you would only be a little over 5 months old, but that is okay, because it would have made them so happy.

Merry Christmas baby girl. My heart is so full with thankfulness at the birth of our Savior, yet I feel so empty and numb this morning without you. You are my heart, and I Keep Walking for you sweet baby Mary Anna.

I love you so much,
your mommy

P.S. One of my dearest friends wrote you a letter as a Christmas present to you, and it was the sweetest gift that anyone has given to you. She wrote a lot of very precious things, and she ended her letter with: “Thank you for changing my life and my attitude about life. You are an inspiration just like your mommy! I love you!” So, I just wanted to say again how proud that I am of you, because you are doing it baby girl, you are changing lives.

  • Beth

    Merry Christmas to the Broms and Caldwells! Cannot imagine how hard Christmas was for you guys – but am amazed at your strength (even if you don’t feel strong – you are)!!