Since last Thursday, life got a little chaotic. I haven’t done much but fall into bed the past four nights and wake up with bags under my eyes to start again. The exhaustion is because our friends are closing their retail store, so I volunteered my talents of being a selling machine to help with the big sale to move the final inventory. Then I had to wake up today to go to my “real” job and work a full day (which I have not done in a while) to relieve someone who was going to be out. This evening I told Dan that I was feeling a little numb, and I knew that I needed to spend some time in the Word and thinking about my girl.
We are not big t.v. people, but one of our shows that we are trying to catch up on has an underlying theme about a dad who’s daughter passes away. Tonight as we ate dinner, the episode was about him seeing his little girl as a teenager. Blah, blah, blah… fast forward to the show being over, dishes done, a load of laundry folded, and I went upstairs to have a little “me” time while Dan studied. I read a little, and then I turned on the song that really brings me to my knees, Rock of Ages. It began to play, and I did something that D tells me that he does a lot that I have never done, and that is stand over the crib and look down into it. I began standing and realizing that the sheets have never been washed, and then I fell to my knees in humility, then I fell on my face in agony. “I just miss her ,” I said to the Lord, and “I don’t know how to pray or why she had to go.”
It reminded me of a passage that I read Friday morning that was talking about how Mary, the mother of Jesus, was learning of her son’s death right after his birth. She was told: