Nov 14

4 months

Today baby Mary Anna would be 4 months old. I did not plan or know how to handle each milestone day, and most times it’s like I notice the date at some point, and it just is what it is. A reminder of what life is for us. I have had a verse echoing in my head the past few days, and it is simple, but life-changing and exactly what I need today.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8

My mom actually reminded me of this verse the other day, and I think it has been in my head, because the Lord knew that I would need it today. The story goes like this…
During my pregnancy, I was always wanting reassurance that my girl was going to be healed. Again, we did not know about her genetic condition while we were carrying her, but we did know that her little leg was turned, and that we might have some complications with how little she was, but that was it. Dan and I were confident that even though our road might be rocky, that she would be fine. We never feared death. 
Each doctors appointment was hard and each time we saw the specialists, we would leave in tears, confused at what really was going on, but we kept clinging to the truth. Before one of my appointments, I opened the daily verse on my phone, and it said that verse in Hebrews, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” I was a little annoyed, and I told God that. I mean come on, could you not let the verse of the day say, “I am the great physician, and Mary Anna will be healthy, and after a little bracing her leg will be healed, and she will be like every other child”, but it did not say that. I remember sitting at UAB with that on repeat in my head and leaving in tears hearing, He is the same. Yesterday. He is the same even today. What. Really. He is the King of Kings today? On what should be Mary Anna’s 4 month old birthday?
I do not remember exactly what doctors appointment that this verse was on, and I do not remember what news that we got or did not get that day, but I do remember is sitting on my couch that evening and telling my parent that I finally got it. I needed to know that in the midst of all this chaos that HE was still the same, and that even after all the disappointments and the crushed dreams that He remains the same. Does that resonate with you?
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8

Even Today.
Even in death.