It was your 3rd birthday on Thursday, and today is the anniversary of the day that you went to heaven. Sometimes I don’t know which day is harder for me, or if it is the days leading up to your special the day and the days in between your birthday and today that I recollect on those short, yet long 4 days that we had with you. I fell asleep last night crying, because I was remembering the last moments that we had with you the night before you left this earth.
Baby girl, I wanted to write you this letter on your birthday, but I got really sick, and I just had a horrible day. A horrible day, because I physically felt as bad as I did emotionally.
We released 14 pink balloons and sang you to on your birthday. We will always celebrate your special day.
I have spent most of this week wondering what your voice would have sounded like. Your little brother talks ALL the time, and I think that he has the cutest little voice.
And now I look at your little sister, and can’t help but imagine how you would’ve grown and looked as you grew. She looks just like you, and it melts me.
My angel, I don’t know what to say or think, but that we miss you and love you deeply. You used to jump in my belly when I played music, and music still speaks to me. One of your daddy and my favorite bands came out with this new song this week, and it was fitting because it remind us of you.
I don’t want any relief
Cause I don’t wanna let you go right now.
Close my eyes and think of you
Go to sleep and dream of you
We don’t get to be here long.
Baby girl, I am glad that I don’t have to be here much longer without you. I am glad that life on earth is not it. You are the promise of heaven that points me to Jesus. You taught me how to long to be with Him. What a gift. You are my greatest treasure.
I know you found the promise land
But I’m still here and I’m missing you.