Dan is a sailor. He does not do this as much as he would like these days, because of the rigor of veterinary school, but he threatens to move us to a sailboat when all of this is over! His love for the water began mostly once he and I started dating ages ago. My love for the water stems from my parents who would always prefer to be at the lake or beach than anywhere else. Dan was not so sure about my families obsession with the beach, lake, scuba diving, boating, etc early on and slowly his heart grew, and now I think at times that he might possibly love the water more than I do.
He began sailing in college when he took an elective at Auburn to have an “easy A”. From that class, he started crewing with the local sailing, what they call “yacht club”, group for a free hamburger and beer on Saturday mornings. Slowly then for a little
extra cash or quite honestly just enough of a paycheck to make it to the lake and back, he started teaching sailing for Auburn. He convinced me to take his class my senior year, and thankfully my teacher gave me an “A” even though I probably did not deserve it!
I enjoy sailing, but honestly, I really don’t. It’s an excuse to be on the water, but it’s a little to slow and it’s a little too much work for me. Dan loves the rigor, the wind, and the challenge of a sailboat.
Recently we were talking about our regresses lately with our grief and how everyday it seems worse and worse to be without our Mary Anna, and Dan had an excellent analogy. He started talking about sailing, and as he began to speak, I could see in his eyes that he was trailing off into some large body of water on a boat and picturing us there. And he went on:
You know Karebear… It’s like sailing. If you start your boat on a path and just leave it on autopilot then it will never make it to the right destination without minor tweaks. The wind changes, the waves change, and the course can so easily get off track. I feel like everything in life can be compared to sailing, and I guess that is why I love it so much. It is okay that we have bad days as long as we readjust our sails, get back on track and keep moving forward. We will make it as long as we are willing to face the wind and the waves.
He hit the nail on the head. As I snuggled my William this morning, I looked down and realized that his footed pajamas had a little blue sailboat on them. It was my reminder to wake up, readjust my sails, and stay on course. Side note, I love nothing more than a baby in footed p.j.’s for some reason, so I just grabbed him up, kissed his little lips, and teared up and thanked W for the lessons that he teaches me everyday without even knowing it.
As I was texting with one of my bests friends last night who is overcoming some tough times, she said: “you just gotta keep walking right?”.