Dec 03

Break

I wrote about a week ago, and then I decided to take a little hiatus from the internet, and spend time reflecting and breathing. Like I said, my family has been going to the beach for the past few years for Thanksgiving, and finally for the first time in years, Dan did not have to study his whole break, so we got some much needed time together. We strolled a lot down the beach hand in hand, and enjoyed talking, dreaming, laughing, and crying together. The rest was such a gift, and I left feeling so thankful for the love and support that we have in our family and in each other.

This first picture was the sunset from the night before Thanksgiving. I was dreading Thanksgiving day so much, that I was miserable more the days leading up to it then I was the actual day. D and I sat by the water for over an hour and watched the sun completely set. We were still, and we marveled in His presence. A lot of our time sitting there wrapped in a blanket with the cold wintry beach air blowing was spent talking about our baby girl. How we missed her, and wondering what Thanksgiving was like in heaven. Finally as it became completely dark, we walked inside and looked around and counted our blessings.

The next morning, Thanksgiving day, we went on another long walk, and again processed our lives for the past four months. It is pretty unreal to think that a year ago we had no idea about Mary Anna, and now we were trying to understand her life and death. We ended up having a wonderful Thanksgiving. My dad prayed the sweetest prayer that I have ever heard about missing our baby girl, and we ate, laughed, played games, sat by the fire, and as the sun was setting, we looked out over the water, and guess what we saw? A very tiny rainbow in the middle of the horizon. A promise of hope. A sign of His mercy and love. What a mighty God we serve!

Writing has and still is very healing for me, but I am so thankful for break from the computer screen and from “real” life to just marvel at creation. I walk away from Thanksgiving this year feeling so much sorrow, but feeling so much joy. 
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
2 Corinthians 9:15